How Can I Win?

Paula

How can i learn to trust enough?
And to stop believing all i hear are lies
Open my heart but just enough
To keep an open mind but never close my eyes
To the dangers i alert myself
Making efforts to assert myself
And discovering ways to hurt myself
That no one else has tried
How can i win if i'm not on my side?

How can i dare to feel again?
If i can't let go of past mistakes i've made
Living through each ordeal again
The faith that i misplaced, the price i overpaid
I've been able to endure enough
But i must not want the cure enough
I get back on my feet and sure enough
My hopes and fears collide
How can i win if i'm not on my side?

I live each day like emotions are at war
But i don't remember anymore
Just who or what i'm fighting for

When will delight be mine again?
Will it come or can it be that it's too late?
I want the sun to shine again
But i must walk away from the shadows i create

And though i tell myself it's safer just to hide
How can i win if i keep retreating?
Cheating myself is self-defeating
How can i win if i'm not on my side?