Subsequent Indifference

Uneasiness, hopelessness
By cold drops on forehead
Powerless, weakness
All are toppled from hands

Sadness, madness
Four walls of eternal prison
Lifeless, soulless
Where dead season only

With every new mourning
I open my eyes
And see a same picture
And feel all same emptiness

Self-destruction, self-illusion
No light in the end of subway
Self-abstraction, self-mutation
From life to death, what insure and save

In negation of deep depression
Defrauding itself that all well
Reliable protection and right solution -
9 grams of lead and gun beside temple

Shadow of death for my back
Her dead breathe on my face
I feel her cold hands
But last that I hear - a shot