I'm Not Okay

I'm losing myself, someone save me
Pop another one lord take me
I'm fucking up again, just erase me
My body on the floor with a tracing
I think that I'm about to go crazy
You building me up just to break me
I'm drinking till everything hazy
Smoking till I'm floating like macy's
Never right
I guess the blame is mine
Nothing's working, but I'm clocking overtime
Silly little scenes running through my mind
Now I'm overdramatic if I ever cry

Yeah, alright alright
How can I be feeling so dead when I'm alive
Why do I forgive when they always tell lies
How could I dream, I'm overthinking all night
I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm losing sleep now, you got me weak now it's hard to speak now
I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm on my knees now, it's hard to breathe now
I'm not okay

With all this shade in the summertime
I stay awake through the moonlight
Missed texts but I don't reply
But, baby, I don't wanna die
I don't want to feel this shit I feel anymore
Looking at peace when I'm really at war
They asking if I'm good, don't wanna say no
Don't wanna be a burden, I'm good alone

Why do I feel guilty when I'm putting me first
Smile so no one can tell when I'm at my worst
I try to move forward but get stuck in reverse
But pockets always full this anything but a curse
I want you to stay, but I'll push you away
People always telling me that this is a phase
If I say no, what the fuck are they gonna say
It's only me now, I'm all I need now

I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm losing sleep now, you got me weak now it's hard to speak now
I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm on my knees now, it's hard to breathe now
I'm not okay

They say I'm doing great
They say I'm doing fine
They acting like nothing happening, but I'm just wasting time
I don't know if I wanna go home
I don't wanna be burden on those that want more
But it's my time my time to waste
I just don't
Know if I'm winning this race
But I'm just taking slow

The burn gets so old
Gotta blank face staring
I'm just looking at the wall
I'm a nervous breakdown
Emotional wreck
When I follow the sound
It leads to my head
Looking out for help
Cause I'm yearning for you

Wish I'd help myself
But you'd still fuck with me too
And I get tired and tired and tired again
Until I sit down and break down, the tears hit my leg
And I'm just waiting for the signs
I'm just waiting for my mind
To tell me something please
I just need to know, but I'm fine

I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm losing sleep now, you got me weak now it's hard to speak now
I say I'm okay but I'm not okay
I'm on my knees now, it's hard to breathe now
I'm not okay