open house

I'm sick of this open house
My friends are not my pals
They all swarm in and out
And I just wanna be alone
'Cause death sits on my mind
A fraction of the time
They say that love is blind
But I don't think they really know

I escape the ceiling of my brain
Feelings are unspoken when I'm tokin' in the rain
Easier to ignore all the pain
I bet you would do it too
If you were just as insane as me
Contain my drinking
I wish I could just stop thinkin'
Pick my body up, I'm sinkin'
I just stared as you kept blinkin'

It wasn't always like this
Lately I've been feelin' sorta lifeless
Lie awake at night tryna fight this
But I can't escape the pain so I write this
Song for a girl that'll never give a damn
Or a boy that's a friend that'll never understand
Or a mom that's confused about her son and where I am
Or a deadbeat dad that's just watching from the stands

I'm sick of this open house
My friends are not my pals
They all swarm in and out
And I just wanna be alone
'Cause death sits on my mind
A fraction of the time
They say that love is blind
But I don't think they really know

I don't think they really know a thing about it
So maybe you should go just dip like shit
Like you don't really care 'bout me or him
If I end it all tonight does that mean you win?