Torn

Since I left I need a medicine
Just can't shake it off
Waking up I'm on the fence again
Don't know what I lost
Saw I'm not in any photographs
Took that like a punch
Talking to myself right off the ledge
Guess that's what I want

Could say I missed out
Could say I dodged a bullet
A different lifestyle
I don't know what to call it
I don't know what to call it

I hate it when I'm here
I love it when I'm leaving
I miss you when you're gone
I'm floating in between
Will I ever put my feet on the ground?
Just be happy with the way it is now?

I hate it when I'm here
I love it when I'm leaving
The more I feel alone
The more I miss the deep-end
Will I ever drop my bags on the ground?
Just be happy with the way it is now, now?

Biting through my tongue like fingernails
I know I should stop
Sorry that I had to bail again
That's not what I want
On a plane these thoughts are terminal
Always on then off
Somewhere in between I'm torn again
No one knows I'm gone

Could say I missed out
Could say I dodged a bullet
A different lifestyle
I don't know what to call it
I don't know what to call it

I hate it when I'm here
I love it when I'm leaving
I miss you when you're gone
I'm floating in between
Will I ever put my feet on the ground?
Just be happy with the way it is now?

I hate it when I'm here
I love it when I'm leaving
The more I feel alone
The more I miss the deep-end
Will I ever drop my bags on the ground?
Just be happy with the way it is now, now?