I'm Just Your Charles Grodin

Empty promises on exotic prom dates
A platonic lover's leap
I haven't been this excited
Since I met my trophy wife on Delancey St.

Pregnancy or change the sheets
I'd choose the latter
But it's whatever to me

I need to surround myself
With people who still think coke's a big deal
The last I heard
She's sticking ecstasy up her ass
I heard it kicks in faster

You got to finish me first
Or else it'll hurt
Then it's the ole' curfew dodge

Pregnancy or change the sheets
I'd choose the latter
But it's whatever to me

I never want to smell
Like last night again
I'll try repeating myself
In a different way
Or saying it in
Another language
I'd have to learn
It first