For All We Are

It's as if my heart
And my body are separate
I've floated on these thoughts for a while now
And not a time have they connected
Or helped to reverse the person I'm becoming
In some ways you come alive
But in most ways it's numbing

I was slowly fading, afraid of giving up
Defending my mind, yet feeling overcome

And as I sit here hoping again
I know the Sun is setting
Hoping I could reverse time
But I know that won't be happening
As the light tries to escape
The canvas once again grows grey
And optimism fades away
It's all just so maddening

I'm too lost in a memory
With my head tucked in between my knees
While the echoes of eternity play the symphony of this lost soul

It's all just so maddening
When you know the cure to the disease that's spreading
But the medicines you just stop taking
You feel alone
You feel ashamed
You feel overcome
And you feel desperate
And at some point, you feel defeated
You feel all those things
But not a one has brought you out of your seat yet
And even with all that pain
Silence keeps its motionless hold
Even though my insides are screaming
I'll watch it all decompose

For all we are, we are not whole